Worst prison break ever

I saw the Fox show Prison Break (actually I didn’t but let’s pretend) so I think I know a little bit about escaping from jails. How these two New Zealand convicts attempted to get away is how not to do it.

Two New Zealand prisoners who were handcuffed together as they fled a courthouse foiled their own getaway when they ran to opposite sides of a light pole, slammed into each other and fell to the ground.

Jailers nabbed them as they struggled to their feet.

Their escapade on Wednesday was captured by a CCTV camera at Hastings District Court on New Zealand’s North Island. The footage shows the two men trying to make a break for it – but apparently forgetting they were joined at the wrist.

Hastings police Senior Sgt Dave Greig said one inmate, Regan Reti, 20, had just been sent to prison for more than two years after being convicted of assault.

The other inmate, Tiranara White, 21, was in custody for allegedly stealing a car and violating parole.

“As they were being led from the Hastings police cells … they made a bolt for freedom,” Greig told The Associated Press on Thursday.

“They fell over and they were sprayed with pepper spray. But they got up and ran out of the court onto the street, across the road to a car park,” he said. “That’s where they met the pole – it was all over, rover.”

Just for the record, this Sergeant is a douche. Is it over, Rover? Is it really?

But yeah, good God is that incompetent. You finally make a break for it and actually get to the jail’s perimeter only to make an error that probably would have happened to the Three Stooges. I get that you’d be excited to get away from the sodomy and mediocre meals and whatever, but there have been more graceful bounds to freedom in competitions teaming up retarded kids for a three-legged race.

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