Worst. Threesome. Ever.

How can you put a damper on what’s the most common fantasy of the American male? By asking if you can watch then, after being told no, getting violent and beating everyone up with your brother’s help. Story of the year!

Two Flowery Branch brothers are in jail after reportedly interrupting a threesome and beating a man in his own home.

Mark Robinson, 26, and Nicolas Robinson, 21, are each charged with false imprisonment and two counts of battery in the Aug. 1 incident. Mark Robinson also faces one count of criminal trespass.

According to Gwinnett County police, the pair showed up to a party at the victim’s Duncans Shore Drive home uninvited, but were allowed to stay provided they didn’t cause any trouble.

The man said he was in a downstairs bedroom with two women at about 4 a.m. when he noticed Mark Robinson standing in the doorway. He repeatedly told Robinson to leave and not to “disrespect his house,” reports said, to which Robinson replied he wanted to watch.

When the man tried to close the door, officers said, Robinson became angry, busted a beer bottle against another door and attacked the man. Soon after, Nicolas Robinson came downstairs shouting, “Don’t mess with my brother” and entered the fray, reports said.

The victim said he was held down and beaten, blacking out at one point.

One of the women said she tried to pull the brothers off the victim but was punched in the face and pushed to the ground before other partygoers could break up the melee.

On the plus side, the victim set out to get into a threesome and he got one. On the down side, the threesome was with two other guys and the only touching that took place involved two animals punching him in the face until he blacked out. Which is arguably the biggest swing from emotional high to low you can possibly experience. Unless one of the girls stopped you right before climax and brought your family into the room, then showed them all a slideshow of photos from her sexual reassignment surgery. That’s the exact reason I stopped having threesomes. Or, at the very least, the main reason I stopped having them at family get-togethers. Why make it easy on this fictional post-op transexual, I figure.

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