You damn kids and your instant messenger
Chris Spags A new poll reveals the stunner that apparently, kids use instant messenger programs to avoid the embarrassment of certain issues. Really, people avoid accountability with difficult situations? No way!
More than four in 10 teens, or 43 percent, who instant message use it for things they wouldn’t say in person, according to an Associated Press-AOL poll released Thursday. Twenty-two percent use IMs to ask people out on dates or accept them, and 13 percent use them to break up.
“If they freak out or something, you don’t see it,” said Cassy Hobert, 17, a high school senior from Frenchburg, Ky., and avid IMer who has used it to arrange dates. “And if I freak out, they don’t have to see it.”
Take Lewis Grove, 19, a college sophomore from Heath, Ohio, who said he has used instant messages for both ends of the dating cycle.
“Fear of rejection — if you’re face to face, you can’t close out the window and disappear if you’ve been rejected” like you could if you were instant messaging, he said.
Grove said the IM breakup has its advantages, too.
“I’ve had some crazy ex-girlfriends. Saying that in person would probably not be the best idea for my physical safety,” he said.
Oh yeah Lewis Grove, I’m sure that you’re such a hot commodity that girls would just murder you if they couldn’t have you any more. Yeah, they just love your quick squirting and the way you yell, “I’M RICK JAMES BITCH” at inopportune situations, occasionally synching up with the aforementioned quick squirting. They also love the way you cried that one time while watching a particularly heartfelt episode of Scrubs. And they were so proud that time you told them about how you slept with that guy at your gym because you were curious and how you weren’t even sure who you were any more. Totally, Lewis Grove, you’re just the f*cking cat’s meow.
Which isn’t to say I haven’t done the same thing. I try to condense every aspect of my relationships to IM. Asking for dates, sex, telling them the child isn’t mine, swift kicks to the abdomen, breaking up, subsequent legal proceedings…really all the key milestones in every relationship. It’s just more technological this way.
EDITOR’S NOTE: You can see a picture of that c*nt Lewis Grove here. I should also note that I don’t know Lewis Grove at all so things I say above may not be true. But they TOTALLY ARE.
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