Your premature ejaculation cannot be helped. I'm sorry.

A new study finds that premature ejaculation is a genetic problem. So all those times your mom wanted to divorce your father, now you know why.

Men who suffer from premature ejaculation may be able to blame their genes, work suggests.

A study of nearly 200 Dutch men found those who climaxed too soon during intercourse had a version of a gene that controls the hormone serotonin.

Men with this version ejaculated twice as quickly as other men in the study.

“This contradicts the idea, which has been common for years, that the primary form of premature ejaculation is a psychological disorder,” [Dr Marcel Waldinger] said.

She said men with primary premature ejaculation tended to be fast reactors generally.

“These men have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example.”

The survey took over 10 years to complete since each time the researchers attempted to conduct an interview with the subjects, they would just let out a groan and hang up the phone hurriedly after 30 seconds. Then call back and apologize profusely. Then roll over and fall asleep. You see, because they’re premature ejaculators. The joke is that the principle behind that would make them act the same in all aspects of life. Because they finish fast. And embarrassingly. Excreting perm that is. Little undeveloped babies used in the reproductive cycle. Circle of life.

Just want to be sure we’re on the same page.

What about a story for the retarded ejaculators out there (not to say the people with Down’s masturbating vigorously and embarrassing their families more than usual), but the people who can’t finish? Those poor souls, forced to throw yogurt on the backs of their loved ones over the same they feel as a result of their conditions. It’s tragic, really.

[On205th provided the news for this]

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