VIDEO: Darth Vader successfully robs a bank

Posted by Shawn Norris on July 23rd, 2010 at 10:45 am

I knew the economy was bad, but not this bad. I figured after that whole Death Star fiasco Darth Vader would be swimming in insurance money. I guess I was wrong…

It seems like every week there’s a new guy in a new costume robbing a bank. It’s weird if you think about it; you don’t have enough money to live on but you have enough money to buy a costume and a gun? And he didn’t flee the scene on his Imperial Cruiser–he got away on his Huffy! You know what surprises me? How eyewitnesses saw a guy dressed as Darth Vader and the cops haven’t already arrested him. Bold strategy, Vader. Stay on a bicycle so as to blend in with all the common folk.

“Fools! The cops will be looking for Imperial Walkers. They’ll never suspect it’s the Vader on the bike!”

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Shawn Norris Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.