VIDEO: Transformers Dark Side Of The Moon game looks great

Too bad it features transformable robots that don’t resemble the ones I grew up with. And I know what everyone’s saying: boo f’n hoo, and get over it. Sorry, I will not; the hurt, it runs THAT deep.

Even three movies later, I still cannot get over how fugly Bumblebee and company have become. BTW, I only saw the first flick; am still interested in the second, if only cuz Optimus supposedly goes all Gundam Wing, and not only is there a robot uncomfortably based upon a black stereotype, I also hear that there’s a robot uncomfortably based upon an Italian stereotype as well. But anyway, the game at least looks good. I mean REAL good…

… Which, sorry, totally blows. When Transformers were first hot, there were far too few attempts at games, and what did exist were left behind in Japan cuz they totally blew. Like this NES title that stars Ultra Magnus…

… Was about to say it’s not the best example, because the player didn’t die in the first 3 seconds like everyone else does, but he doesn’t go past the first minute with his first life at least. But at least Ultra Magnus looks like Ultra f’n Magnus!

It would be a very time before another take would be attempted, for the PS2 in Japan (yeah, not a single 16-bit version exists, which is such a shame considering the high amount of awesome side-scrolling mech titles, so the platform was certainly sufficient). Here’s that title, which features fully English voiceovers and text; me thinks no one in America wants to touch the stinker, despite not having to do any translation-work…

Fun-fact: the guy doing Optimus’s voice is none other than the guy who plays Alucard in Symphony of the Night! Also, I sorta like: there was a Beast Masters games for the PSone. But seriously, who ever gave a rat’s ass about Beast Masters?

An actually good Transformers perhaps the very first ever, came out for the PS2 here in America, based on the Armada series (which shares a number of qualities with the game above to be honest). Still it was not Generation 1, so I could not have cared less. But at least those designs weren’t as offensive as this Michael Bay nonsense. So yeah, that’s what sucks the most: the games are finally getting good, but it’s starring the bots I know and love. Oh the pains of adulthood.

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