VIDEO: Video Games Suck, And Here Are The Reasons Why They Do

Sad but true. First off, listen to all the reasons why game suck accord to Irish stand comic, Dara Ó Briain...

Sorry, but every single point he makes is a 100% valid (and not just saying that cuz anyone with a thick Irish accent automatically sounds like they know what they’re talking about). ESPECIALLY about Grand Theft Auto 4; when I first discovered that you couldn’t automatically head towards the game’s version of Manhattan, I was legit outraged. Sorry, but I hate Brooklyn in both the real and virtual worlds equally.

I also echo his sentiment as it pertains to Rock Band, though my biggest beef is with Guitar Hero 4. I put up with as much of it’s sh*t song selection, crappy animation, and horrendous cross-promotional tie-ins as I could, yet was never able to get towards the one song, and I’m talking the ONLY song I wanted to play, aka the sole reason why I even bothered with that crap title to begin with (in addition to being a snobby Manhattanite, I’m also a Rock Band fanboy). That single tune btw? Dream Theater’s Pull Me Under. Even worse was how excited I got for the code that unlocked all the songs, except for that one. Jesus Christ.

But things have gotten better, sorta. The endings of games have improved, slightly. For a reminder of how bad things used to be, here’s a little song…

… As angry as I was to be locked out of Algonquin in GTA4, it can’t compare to the thrashing my 8-year-old self gave my bedroom in reaction to the lame-ass reward for beating Rygar.



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Matt Hawkins Matt Hawkins is an NYC based video game journalist, designer, consultant, and cultralist. He's been published in EGM and GameSetWatch amongst others. Matt also makes comics and zines, is obsessed with cable access, gets into arguments with homeless people all the time, and once had his nipple bitten off during a one night stand. But that's neither here nor there.

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