North Dakota woman marries herself

Katie Nolan Editor, "Guyism Speed Round" Producer

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Huffington Post

Nadine Schweigert is a 36-year-old woman from North Dakota who, after recovering from a brutal divorce six years ago, decided to marry herself. Legitimately. There was even a ceremony, where her friends and family were invited to watch her exchange rings with her “inner groom” (which, to me, sounds like a concept that lends itself very well to pornography. Think about it).

While I’m sure the point here was to prove that a woman doesn’t need a man to marry her in order to find happiness, all I’m getting is that women are just as obsessed with marriage as you always thought, if not more. Being 36 and unmarried is perfectly okay. Being 36 and married is perfectly okay, too. Being 36 and married to yourself? Fucking weird. It isn’t inspiring or empowering; it just makes me hop aboard some weird trains of thought.

Like, now that you married you, is masturbation going to become boring and less frequent? If you forget your anniversary are you going to ignore yourself and complain about what a bitch you are to all of your friends? And, most importantly… does having actual sex with another person count as extramarital activity? Maybe we can use your story to finally drive the point home that marriage isn’t always the best idea in the world.